Cinderella Pact: skip the seaweed

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

skip the seaweed

My family is gagging -- I made the "UltraBroth" for the UltraSimple Diet and I followed the directions. I even went to the local health food store to purchase unusual ingredients. Well, I should have skipped the seaweed. My house currently smells worse than the Monterey Bay and I am a little anxious about tasting the soup!

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Guide to Indulging Your Inner Cinderella

- Take that photo of you as a little girl off your mother's refrigerator. Tape it to your bathroom mirror. Admire how happy she is, how sparkling. Be her, again.

- Buy a tiara. Admit that it looks good on you. Fantastic, in fact. Wear it whenever.

- Take a personal assessment test. Do you have what it takes to be a fairy princess? Do you feel peas? Prick your fingers? Kiss talking frogs? On second thought.....

- Believe it. Be it. Maybe that means more exercise, fewer calories, Swedish skin care. Or maybe it just means realizing that you are worth being treated like royalty.

- Remember you don't need a prince to be Cinderella.

- Find your fairy godmother. Or godsister. Or godgirlfriend. You know who she is. Thank her.

- Stick with the program! We know it's hard treating yourself like royalty. Keep in mind that eventually you will rise to meet your destiny. It'll be worth it. If you don't think so ask the little girl taped to your bathroom mirror. Remember, you're changing for her.

- Act like Cinderella. Trill when you do the dishes. Invite birds to sit on your fingers, chipmunks to nestle in the folds of your skirts. Do not mind that the neighbors have called your relatives, expressing concern. Pity them, for they know not that you are a woman of noble birth kept captive by commoners.

- Look like Cinderella. Start with your hair and your feet while your body catches up. Become a stunning blonde or a sultry brunette. Get your brows done. Your pores minimized. Your wrinkles eliminated. Treat yourself to the most fabulous shoes you can afford.

- Unveil your inner Cinderella. Step into your new, glittering dress. Put up your hair. Slip on great shoes, and finally,add your tiara. Smile to the girl in the mirror, who will be smiling back. Tell her you did it! Feel the joy of accomplishment, the thrill of being glamorous. And now, let the whole world see the Cinderella you've kept hidden. Her pumpkin carriage has been waiting for far too long.

--- Belinda Apple

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

skip the seaweed

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